By Andrea Pitron
Nobody really shares what it's like for those of us that "survive the survivor of PPS". I hope my story helps someone.
Ronald Pitron
Living with post-polio syndrome is not just a journey carried by the person whose body is still dealing with the effects of a virus from decades ago; it is a journey shared by the people who love them, argue with them, laugh with them, and occasionally have to remind them that they are not as invincible as they think they are. My father, Ronald Pitron, was born in Chicago, Illinois in 1948. He got polio 9 months later, after sipping water from a fountain. He was treated (both in patient and out patient) at Cook County Hospital. His other three siblings escaped the virus.
Yes, he survived polio, and that alone says so much about his strength and determination. But what nobody really talks about is what comes after, years later, when the effects that come with that survival continue to show up in ways nobody expected. Polio may have been decades ago, but apparently it did not get the message that it was supposed to stay in the past. It left behind a lifetime of challenges, adjustments, and a whole lot of personality to deal with along the way.
As his only child, I have had the privilege - and sometimes the questionable honor - of being the one beside him through this chapter of his life. Taking care of my father means helping him navigate the challenges of post-polio syndrome. Now, I’m watching him as he faces the greatest challenge of all: his stubbornness and his belief that he can still do everything exactly the way he always has. His body may tell him to slow down, but his mind and his mouth (here I must laugh) says, “WTF is going on???” Apparently, post-polio syndrome did not come with a manual for dealing with a father who thinks asking for help is a personal insult.
My father is stubborn in ways that you can not imagine! Somehow, he can turn a helpful suggestion into a challenge that I never agreed to compete in. His acceptance of help appears like he just lost a battle within himself. Every time he has the experience, I am the one who feels the rath of his internal defeat. I have a permanent seat right next to him on his emotional roller coaster. He is not a man of many words, nor has he ever raised his voice at me. He expresses his emotions by venting with the kind of sarcasm only a father can deliver – the kind where you are not sure if you should laugh, sigh, or simply respond with the familiar look that reminds him that you love him enough to put up with him. But that is my Dad. The same stubbornness that can drive me crazy is also the stubbornness that helped him become who he is.
Ronald and his grandaughter, Jasmine
The truth is, nobody understands what it is like unless they live it. People hear that someone had polio and think of something that happened a long time ago, something finished and forgotten. If they even heard of it at all. People do not always understand that survival of anything does not mean the story ends there. Sometimes survival means adapting again and again, finding new ways to do things, and learning how to laugh when life does not go according to plan. In our lives together, humor has become our greatest gift and that gets us through.
Caring for my father has taught me patience, strength, and the art of letting some things go - especially when arguing with him is clearly a battle I am not going to win. After all, this is the man who has lived with the reality of having had polio his entire life. He has been determined and stubborn longer than I have been alive.
Ronald and Andrea
Underneath the sarcasm, the jokes, and the constant frustration is a father who fought through something most people will never understand. He is still the same man who loved me, raised me, taught me, and showed me what strength looks like. Post-Polio Syndrome may have changed parts of our lives, but it has not changed who he is. He is still my father: sarcastic, stubborn and determined. He has a sense of humor that very few would understand.
Like my father, I have learned what it is to be strongminded. I am determined to learn what true patience is and can be, so that I am able to SURVIVE everything that goes with loving and caring for . . . my Polio Survivor!
Andrea’s story is one of 140 stories of survival that are easily available.
Photos courtesy of Andrea and Ronald Pitron